WOW. You're brave. Heh, little did bro know beforehand that I'm an absolute GOONER! Now bro knows :D !! BEWARE THE NSFW, POSSIBLY CRINGE, AND WEIRD THOUGHTS BEYOND THIS POINT!! Any NSFW will be hidden but easily accessible under "Freaky Shit"
Heh, I'm pansexual but it's kind of hard to tell with the large amount of men here. I'm not lying just to be different, I just have specific tastes. These specific tastes show up less in feminine people usually.
Oh, I've already made a physical shrine for him. Two to be exact, but now time to turn to the internet. Oh holy goon I love him!!! I want to lick the screen everytime i see him hehehehhe. I LOVE him.
FUCK he's preeeeetty in these ones~
There's truely a lot I like about Russia I've already written a paragraph and a few more about him on my phone one time. I would copy paste that here but I can't. I don't want to write that out manually either! Anywho, this is about Ivan, not me! I don't like King Russia... I love him~(ref)! His eyes are beautiful, a unique color of course. and you... kind of know me but I LOVE purple so of course I would love his eyes. His body... FAT AND I LOVE IT IM SUCH A FREAK ABOUT FATTIES :P:P:P:P Now... I think I have to go digging throough the official art, but cannonaclly I don't think he has body hair :( So sad, I know... BUT LUCKILY WE HAVE FAN MADE REPRESENTATIONS! so of course I make him have body hair in my representation because how would I be AN ABSOLUTE FREAK if I didn't?!
Ivan. Yes I’m writing another paragraph for my fattie Russia because I have a lot of time to do what I want in my digital photography class today. I have around 20 or so minutes until I have to take my pictures for my final assignment. Afterwards, I can write more. Anyway, RUSSIA. Waaaiiit. DEAR GOD I FORGOT ABOUT GO GUARDIAN. NOOOOOUUUGGHH I HAVE TO STAY FAMILY FRIENDLY. Yeah, I’m working on my school computer because it’s not like I can take out my phone. My teacher will take it, and when he does (if I did have my phone out), he would see multiple instances of my freakiness. So Ivan is scary, yes, but he has a few good intentions at least. He’s at least not a wild toucher like France, that’s for sure. In my fanon, Ivan would totally cook as a small side hobby. He would totally try and be nice to the Italy brothers by serving them some proper slavic food. He would definitely give plenty of hugs, kisses, and cuddles… when he’s feeling nice and trying to make friends because I know he wants friends. When he’s being mean… like I remember he would like to kill those that piss him off in the most conventional way… oouugghh yeah that was hot. UHHHHH gulp. So I don’t think he would run to his prey because in the movie he was slow when running away from those aliens. And he had that horrible side cramp thing too awgghh my baby nooo. But back to killing, he would tackle as soon as he gets close enough, trapping the prey underneath his weight heheheh. Mmmm fatties, so delicious. I want him to crush me. My approximation of him weight is like… hold on research time. 205 lbs? A little overweight by 15 lbs~ Now some math… for weaker or smaller bones and my body, it is said that 100 pounds per square inch is needed to break those bones. To be compressed means to have hundreds of pounds of pressure to break at least my arm. So that’s out of the book but Ivan has to have some strength, at least more than me. So he could definitely twist my arm easily off. To bend the average arm is 135 pounds of weight so if Ivan could bend my arm with his fat ass, then I’ll be happy. See, told you I’m a masochist… but not a nerd. Now you know. No more calculations though, unless I come up with another problem that needs research and calculations. But the possibility of Ivan breaking my bones are only if Ivan hates me or I pissed him off. He may accidentally hurt me with his strength when he’s being nice, for example hugging me and accidentally squeezing me too hard, but not enough to break bones sadly. I would say more but I have 3:30 minutes left until I have to take my pictures. Bye Bye meine Lieben!
I want to be bred by Ivan.
let's forget that S reminds me of Russia too...
Heh, look at this awsome cosplayer!!
Hehe, lil edit made by me!
@3v3rym4nhybr1d2 Simple Ivan edit #hetalia #russiahetalia #cute #song #fyp ♬ оригінальний аудіозапис – Товста7\Срака - Товста7\Срака
And then we have this peak. I CRIED FROM HOW GOOD IT WAS AND IT WASNT RUSAME LESS GOOOO! Its too sad and beautiful.
@v3nus..c Art credits to: @sayuik that gave me the kind permission to make this!! I feel like I could have done better but I’ve been quite busy lately😭😭 #hetalia #hetaliaedit #aphrussia #ヘタリア #animation ♬ suono originale - ☆*:.｡.Venere🍝🌍.｡.:*☆
Man I really fucking love Ivan... but nickname time! Because 1 I feel weird saying I love Russia in public and getting people thinking im communist. Yes, I have read some of the communist manifesto but I'M NOT COMMUNIST. 2 my fuckass dad teases me a lot. If I say I love Ivan Braginsky my dad will think I love a non fictional character and he'll be like oooh cheating—SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM LOYAL TO MY BEAUTIFUL SEXY GF GODDAMNIT. So I was thinking Knuddelbär (noodle bear h eheh) and it also corresponds/can be used interchangably with Eisbär (polar bear) and Ivan could be called that because you know he's Russia; Siberia. So I'm going to practice my German more and when speaking about Russia, I will instead use "Ähm, ich liebe mein Knuddelbär zu sehr. Er ist wirklich heiß. Auf sexuelle Weise auch."
Heh, peg me NOW.
Now this HAS to be an achievement because you know what this delicious fatass technically made me do yesterday? Goon in the school bathrooms. Yes I finished so hard that to me I did smell like goon sauce the whole day which made me want to goon more and harder but I never got the chance... until now mwheheheh.
Augh he makes my nipples so hard! And he makes me juicy down under~(refrence)
About to start saying some diabolical stuff now, bruh because I cum so hard for mein bär. Yeah I did really just say that... now what I was thinking about while gooning to Ivan was me riding his hand like a desperate little puppy girl slut. Barking and whimpering for him. And I quickly came in a matter of less than minute; no exaggeration there. Oh yeah I need his fucking fat ass bod right now. He's so damn hot I really need to act all desperate and needy in front of him right now because yes I get off to my own desperation too. You know gotta catch em all-
I would not like to resind my comment, and I'd actually like to add on! Bruh I was finished and exhausted in a matter of 2 crits that is not to say Ivan is bad, he's good. Way too good.
Average stuff I goon to; IVAN'S TITIES
Yes, shun the unholy, for I like Germany in the wrong way. I need to repent a truckload of sins and worries now.
So I watched the boy in stripped pajamas because it was what we had to watch for history. And… one of the SS soldiers… remind me of Ludiwg… Hetalia. FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY AUTISTIC ASS. But when that SS soldier hit the… poor jewish boy wait lemme do research Lieutenant Kolter…. When he hit the boy, yes I flinched in my sympathy, but I was instantly aroused. It was really good gooning stuff damn he’s so hot BUT NOOO NO HE’S SO CRUEL NO BUT ITS HOT AAGGAGGAHGAGH CONFLICTING EMOTIONS I SHOULDNT BE FEELING THIS WAY FOR A NAZI ITS HORRIBLE EWWHYYY AM I LIKE THIS
So what I want to happen to ME. I don’t know exactly how to explain myself because I’m not the best at psychoanalyzing myself, I don’t think anyone is. But the main and simplest thing my fetishes all link to is the want for dominance. The thought of being controlled and used is very appealing to me, but of course it goes deeper than that and as it does, the deeper the want is. Surface level is the want for dominance, control and bondage. Maybe a little blood in there too because I think I have a blood kink the way I want to bleed. It physically shows my pain so that's why. Working lower, yes I’m a masochist and I want pain. I get off to it. Plain and simple I like pain inflicted onto ME. Yeah, I’m typing this in class but I don’t care. Remember what the one and only Rodrick Heffley said, “Deny, Deny, Deny.” Continuing lower… it gets bad. I don’t hurt myself because I’m suicidal, I do it because I like the pain, to be clear. Next… the intense stuff. I really like the intense stuff, not even supposed to be in the realm of BDSM. I’m talking about rape. I want to be so fucking scared and in so much pain without my input. Non consensually. And the lowest of the low… pedophilia and Nazism. I SAID IT, I SAID IT. Remember what I said about Lieutenant Kotler? Yeah goddamnit he’s getting to me! And that’s what I’m writing my fanfiction about. Kotler raping me. Not only that but in the fanfiction I’m a minor. Even worse. I don’t like being a pedo, no thank you. I respect kids and people younger than me too. Kids are not hot to me. But I’m a minor and the thought of an adult touching me, using me, and me having to obey them is extremely arousing. Adding onto the Nazism, this is not a first time thing either, none of this is. I started gooning at around 7 or 8 and I started this disgusting stuff at around 10. I’ve liked at least Jackal Queenston before this and I just started liking Lieutenant Kotler. I don’t know what it is about Nazi’s but maybe their cruelty and unfairness is extremely arousing too.
I'm... totally normal for them.
Fuck I was going to put porn of them on here. Guess I can't because safe search is protecting almost all of my tech... except for my IPad hehehe. But that shit tablet sucks ass. Still love them though~
ENGLAND. IS. NOT. PART. OF. THE. BAD. TOUCH. TRIO. GET IT FUCKING RIGHT YOU IDIOT SANDWICHES. I fucking HATE Arthur Kirkland... England. I want to burn him at the stake. Now.
These are my favorite songs of all time. I am not kidding, these songs are so good that they are completely goonable. This is why I love the BTT.
When the angels came for me I told them no~~ I need to goon to the bad touch triooo~ I must goon to the bad touch trioo~ Once I finished to them, I said, Heaven can waaaiiit~ (ref)
SPAIN YOU FUCKING SEXY BASTARD. YOUR SONGS ARE BY FAR THE BEST I NEED TO GOON TO YOU SERIOUSLY HARD AFTER SCHOOL.
As for Prussia...I'm now listening to your Jet Star song...KEEP ON MOANING FOR ME FEMBOY. I NEED TO GOON.
How are French people delicious? Specifically Francis Bonnefoy from Hetalia? And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically, or theoretically, or any other fancy way. I mean cannibalism. Straight. Up (ref). You know why bagguttes, souffle, creme brulee, and most of the French pasteries are super good? It's because Francis goons in the food to make it taste good. But what if we go even deeper? We. Eat. Francis. Now that will absolutely taste good. Not just Francis' cum but his body too. It will taste really good and I have historical proof.
Man, I want France to peg me too.
Ah France~ I'm litterally drooling bruh.
Ik this isn't hardcore goon sauce yet but... we'll get to that later. We'll ease into it.
But for now—holy thighs I need to eat him out. But why doesn't he have any body hair?? WAAAGGGHHH I NEED MY MEN WITH A LIL SAUCE COME ON DUDE YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
I know Rome and Italy are freaks so that makes me really love them but I perfer Romano surprsingly. This is because he's a tsundere femboy. Not only that but he has a good delicious accent.
Remember that one episode where Rome sneaks into Germany's bedroom at night and asks him if he masturbates? Well what if Rome snuck into my bedroom in the middle of the night and asks me about masturbation? I'll obviously just say yes and give him a good example of how I do it. Now that'd be ideal~!
So, you know how I said I'm a freak in the Russia shrine? Yea... here's some info on this OLD FUCK.
EARLY 40S?!\(˚☐˚”)/ But me too Ishi, I'm scared of bugs too...
Ok, sadly, I don't really have much to say about Mogami-sama because I can't :(( I only have up to Vol 3 of Spirits and Cat Ears. BUT HERES SOME MORE PICTURES!
look at this gui...
Made this in class!
What is my zesty ass talking about... because I wanna get pegged but Ishi too.
Just remembered my dad hates pegging... man shucks, pull down my trowsers and get pounded by bowser (ref).
Oh my golly goon... I'm so glad Vol 2 came to me!
Tord, Tom, Matt, and Edd!!
Man I love all of them. In the order I just said. TORD ON TOP!!!
My favorite videos.
TORDTORDTORD AAAAAAHHHHH TORD HOLY GOON. Heheheh I love his voice. Tord's little laugh in the beginning of Snow in Oslo is so cute (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝)